What Happens When You Finally Stop Hiding?

Fresh from a two-week healing break, I'm diving back into the podcast world with renewed energy and some personal revelations worth sharing. There's something surprisingly empowering about watching my gray hair emerge between salon appointments, prompting deeper thoughts about how we present ourselves and why. Will I eventually embrace an edgy gray look? The jury's still out, but I'm one step closer to finding out.

My journey with cosmetic treatments has taken some interesting turns lately. After years of hiding my smile due to insecurities about my gummy appearance, I finally invested in fixing my teeth – a change that's subtly transformed my face shape and confidence. The CO2 laser treatment around my eyes didn't completely eliminate my xanthelasma, but it's progress. These experiences have me contemplating the fine line between enhancement and alteration, wondering how to improve without becoming addicted to changing my appearance.

Chapters

• 0:00 Taking a Break for Healing
• 2:12 Gray Hair Revelations
• 3:30 Teeth Fixes and Facial Treatments
• 7:29 Social Media Platform Growth Updates
• 12:11 Book Reviews and Future Plans

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

We are back. I am so sorry. I totally missed last Monday. My fault, I didn't feel like doing shit. I didn't feel like doing anything. I was just in healing mode. I was in healing mode. I needed, first of all, it's just. It was a good solid two weeks of bullshit. It was a good solid two weeks of bullshit.

Speaker 1: 0:34

I'm your host, christy Chanel, and this is the Love you Miss you Bye podcast. I don't regret it. I'm happy, I feel good, I feel like I look better. I mean, I may not May just be all in my head and that's okay. That's okay. I will tell you, I have not gone to the hair salon.

Speaker 1: 0:56

Usually I go like every six weeks, every four to six weeks, like that, something like that. But this time, this time, it's been like two and a half months, and so the gray is graying. It is graying, I'm telling you, and I'm like I have that L'Oreal spray in my bathroom and I'm like, fuck it, I don't really feel like doing that. I don't know. And there's something empowering about letting your gray show. I know, I don't know what's happening to me. What is happening to me Like, I do think I'm going to be the one that has like wild ass. Gray and black hair, like that's going to be me and I'm okay with that. I'm actually considering it Like do I go there? Should I go there? It's going to save me some money, I don't know. Let's just put it this way. I am one step closer to going gray, to going edgy gray, not just gray, like I'm not going to go, gracefully, don't get me wrong but an edgy gray, you know, with a dark contrast. I don't know. I don't know, we'll get there. When we get there, it's not going to be this time, it is not going to be this time. I've got a hair appointment Saturday. I'm probably going to be kind of boring, but I will. I promise you. I promise you, I need a look. Don't you think I need a look? I feel very boring right now. Before I had red hair with these money pieces that were like stark blonde. They were like really blonde, and some person that I know said you know, you would look younger with brown hair and it never left. It never left, and so I wasn't going to stop until I actually got it done and she was right. I think she was right. So thank you.

Speaker 1: 2:48

I love an honest person. I'm always going to love an honest person, like if you don't like something. I mean I think it would be good if I asked your opinion, like I don't need your opinion unless I'm asking for your opinion, but yeah, I'm up for that. I would rather somebody be honest and say you look like ass than to just let me look like ass. I want a friend that's going to tell me the truth. I don't want a friend that's a jerk, I just want a friend that's going to tell me the truth. Okay, enough about that. I am so glad to be back on the mic. I am just I don't know. I think I'm ready to take on the world.

Speaker 1: 3:26

You know, when I know everybody has it, everybody has their thing. That just bothers the hell out of them. You know, maybe in high school it was your height because you were always taller than the boys, because the boys grow slower. But now you're like this freaking model. Maybe it was your height and you like grew into that and you realize how special that actually is. Maybe it was your height the opposite. Maybe it's like you're cute, You're like Polly Pocket. You know that is your role You're cute and adorable.

Speaker 1: 4:00

I was never, either, one of those. I was kind of like right in the middle, like average average, average average. But one of the things that really bugged me was my teeth. Always, always, I've always had a really gummy smile. Yeah, it wasn't cute. It wasn't cute, so I would always smile halfway. I would smile halfway.

Speaker 1: 4:22

Then I started going through some bone loss and some things happening in there. It started in my late 20s and I was like I am going to spend the money and get this fixed. So here I am, I'm fixed. It's changed my face shape a little bit, which is super cool. Then I got, you know, I knew I got the CO2 laser around my eyes. You know, maybe I had unreasonable expectations about my eyes, so the xanthelasma around my eyes didn't the CO2 laser did not get rid of all of it. Now, I don't know if it's because they weren't aggressive enough, I don't know, I don't have an answer but I know that it definitely looks better. Maybe I have to go in stages like removing a tattoo, I don't know, but I know just this alone was $1,200. So we're not gonna be able to do too many phases of this, but I'm happy. I'm happy, I'm not upset.

Speaker 1: 5:36

Like I said, I would probably do one more. I might do a lip flip or a half a syringe, maybe a filler in my top lip. I don't know if I need to do anything in the bottom, just the top. I just want a little bit of something in the top. I've always had small lips and I don't hate them. I want something natural. But why not try it? You can get rid of it, right, you can dissolve filler and Botox dissolves on its own. So yeah, I don't know, I guess we'll see. I guess we'll see. But I am going to do that, don't worry, don't get all freaked out. I'm not the girl that's going to be all weirded out with her face, like I'm not.

Speaker 1: 6:22

But they do say that once you start it you get addicted, like tattoos. It's very, very similar. It's like I fixed that. What else can I fix? And we see that with the Kardashians. We know it's true. So I will not go there. You guys better not let me go there. Are you kidding me If you think, seriously, seriously, do not let me get to that level. That is not a good friend. That is not a good friend. Okay, we have that agreement right. You see it, it's a little intense. And you, I'm asking for your opinion. Ok, I am asking for your opinion. So we're on the same page. There's a text link right there in the show notes. Text me. Text me if you see my cover on the podcast and you're like Christy Chanel. That's how my mom used to say it. Christy Chanel, what have you done to your face? I will hear it with love in my heart. We've got some time.

Speaker 1: 7:29

A lot's happening in the world. I'm noticing a couple of things. It's kind of bothering me, like my TikTok is growing. It is growing. I like to keep you up to date on what's happening and what my numbers are, and we're kind of in this together, so I think it's important to share where we are together. Tiktok I told you my end of the year goal for TikTok is that I will be at 5,000 followers, thousand followers and right now and we're in March, at the end of March I'm at three thousand six hundred and forty five followers. So I think we can do it. I think we're going to do it if we don't get banned in a couple of weeks. Here we go again. Right, I feel like they're just playing with our emotion and I'm not in love with that. I'm not in love with having to go through this again.

Speaker 1: 8:30

You guys know you are hyper aware that I am so obsessed with TikTok. Probably it's an unhealthy obsession. I just love it. I have figured it out. I have figured it out and it's not about how many followers you have, and I know I'm telling you how many followers I have. It is about the engagement and I have that. I have that. I have people on there that we talk all the time, so that's a positive, right, we're making headway. Now the negative? Well, I do have. You know. This is positive.

Speaker 1: 8:54

Tiktok is going in a positive direction. I start to repurpose my videos from TikTok and I put them on YouTube and Instagram. Instagram feeds into Facebook, so they're all getting some play, and threads that Instagram also feeds into threads, so they're all getting some play. Now, every social media platform is very, very different, so the play I may get on winning video from TikTok may not get anything anywhere else. It really just depends.

Speaker 1: 9:28

As I've been consistently for at least the last three weeks, four weeks, posting videos from TikTok to Instagram, I have grown a couple of followers, which is a positive. If I studied Instagram more and how it all worked, I could probably grow faster, but I don't think that's going to be the platform that I hang my hat on. It's YouTube. And the bad news is YouTube I've actually I've lost five followers since I started doing politics. I'm not growing, I'm decreasing, so I don't know how I should handle that. I'm not really sure YouTube is not loving the politics content, but my podcast itself, my audio podcast, is I know it's like I can't be different for every platform, it's just not. I don't have that kind of time to do it all. My podcast, my audio podcast, is steadily growing. I'm climbing for me, so I'm happy about that. I'm just trying to figure out.

Speaker 1: 10:48

If I look back and see what my biggest podcast episode was since this year 2025, my biggest is symbols of resistance against the oligarchy. That's my biggest one. Then, right after that, women's rights in America under threat. So that's just this year. Because I haven't really done a book review. I haven't really done the other things that I was doing True crime I haven't done any of those. Because if I look back on those, my biggest, my absolute biggest and we're not talking about episode one, where everybody came to listen, we're talking about now, out of everything, taking away episode one, my biggest was October 21st 2024. And that was the Lisa Marie book review. It's not politics. Youtube is not politics. I mean, I could look there too. It's going to be Wade Wilson. That's going to be my number one, and then, right after it's going to be Lisa Marie, probably, probably. But TikTok, politics is my number one there.

Speaker 1: 12:00

So anyway, I'm trying to figure it out, I'm trying to balance it out, I'm trying to find a way to mesh them together and I hope I can. I don't know. I'm listening. I know I'm Okay. Shit, I forgot. I know I'm supposed to finish share the book.

Speaker 1: 12:18

I told you I have ADD and if a book cannot keep my attention, I will not be able to finish it. Cher was able to keep my attention, but now I feel like it's been so long since I turned it back on that I'll have to start from the beginning. That's my worry. But it had my attention. I just need to keep listening. It had my attention. Then I started listening to Brooke Shields. That book did not, could not, keep my attention. I was struggling listening to that and I love, I love Brooke Shields. I love her, and maybe it picks up a little bit. I don't know. I don't know. It couldn't hold my attention.

Speaker 1: 13:01

Now I'm listening to Chelsea Handler's book. Oh my God, I love it. She talks fast, she keeps my attention, I'm listening. She's somebody I want to hang out with oh my God. But I think to hang out with her you have to microdose. So probably not going to be able to hang out with her, but she's on my list to meet one day.

Speaker 1: 13:19

So I'm going to put it in the universe I want to meet Chelsea Handler. I do, and I don't just want to meet her as a fan. I want to be on the stage with her in some way A panel, I don't know. I want to go to lunch with her. I know High want to go to lunch with her. I know high expectations, right. But hey, if I'm not going to dream for myself, who's going to dream for me? Nobody.

Speaker 1: 13:47

So I'm going to put it out there. I will be covering her book. That's a promise. And yell at me if I don't. Okay, because I just made you a promise. If I don't keep it, it's on me, man, hold me accountable. Don't, okay, because I just made you a promise. If I don't keep it, it's on me, man, hold me accountable. That's fine. So I am so glad to be back. I feel good, I'm ready to keep going and I hope you're doing okay. I hope everything's going good. So this is to start catch up. I'm going to get back into the grind and I'll see you with a new episode, and I don't know what it's going to be about yet. I guess we'll both see. Just depends on what's happening in the world. Okay, love you, miss you, bye.