Winter's Warning: How I Ignored All Red Flags and Drove Straight Into a Blizzard

Family reconciliation sometimes requires treacherous journeys—both emotional and physical. After fourteen years of estrangement from my stepdad following my mother's death, I decided it was finally time to visit Portland and rebuild our relationship.

Despite his repeated warnings about dangerous winter weather conditions and suggestions to fly instead, I was determined to drive from Texas to Portland with my son Trevor. Looking back, my stubbornness reflected something deeper: a need to assert my independence while simultaneously craving his approval and invitation. The text messages we exchanged before departure reveal a dance between parental concern and adult determination, with him sending weather alerts and me insisting we would be fine.

What began as an exciting Christmas road trip quickly transformed into an anxiety-filled ordeal. With temperatures dropping and storm warnings intensifying, my confidence wavered—I knew how to drive in winter conditions on flat highways from my New Jersey upbringing, but mountain driving at night was entirely different territory.

Running on just four hours of sleep over two days, I faced a critical decision about continuing into an approaching storm. The physical journey had become a perfect metaphor for our relationship: challenging, treacherous, yet necessary if reconnection was to happen.

My stepdad had raised me since I was five years old. He walked me down the aisle. He was "Dad" to me until pain and grief created a fourteen-year divide. This road trip wasn't just about transportation—it was about bridging that divide, even if it meant driving straight into a storm to do so.

Chapters

• 0:00 Family Tension and Trip Planning
• 7:12 Text Messages and Weather Warnings
• 14:45 Dropping Off Bailey and Getting the Rental
• 19:45 Christmas Eve and Morning on the Road
• 27:28 Growing Anxiety and Mountain Dangers
• 33:22 Rock Springs Hotel and Storm Ahead

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I miss him. You know he was a wonderful stepdad. He raised me. I called him dad growing up. He walked me down the aisle multiple times. But he walked me down the aisle Like he's everything, and it was pain and pride. No, there wasn't any pride. It was a lot of pain that got in between him and I and that had to do with my mom's death. They were together 20 years so I never made it to Portland. I never made it to Portland.

Speaker 1: 0:32

I know I did a whole episode on it. I get it All right. I get it and I was devastated by it. It actually, today I am filming this on January 5. Today I am filming this on January 5th, just so you know. I know it's a few weeks after that, but it took me a week to really decompress from the trauma that I just went through. Yeah, so let's get into it. L-u-m-u-b. I'm Christy Chanel.

Speaker 1: 1:20

The visuals that go along with this episode. Please click the link in the show notes. It will take you right to my YouTube page. Hit the subscribe and follow along and you'll be able to see, like the beautiful mountains and everything that we're going through and the visibility that was basically zero on the trip. Yeah. So there's some really cool footage on there that I will edit into this episode, so you might want to hit stop right here and go watch it on YouTube.

Speaker 1: 1:48

So the trip was supposed to be started on December 24th. I will read you some text messages that were happening before I even left between my stepdad and I. So I think that this is relevant in the story of the. I told you so part of this whole thing, so I'm going to take you through the entire timeline in the way that it happened. All right, so let's start with the text messages. Okay, we're starting on Sunday, december 22nd. Now, keep in mind my road trip was planned for December 24th, christmas Eve. So this was Sunday, december 22nd.

Speaker 1: 2:28

My stepdad sends me a text message. He says I am very concerned about you driving all the way. I looked up flights and you would save hundreds of dollars if you flew Hotels. Gas and a rental car is going to be way more. Consider it carefully. You could get stuck in a snow event this time of year. Okay, and here's my response, I think we'll be fine. We are leaving at around three or four on Tuesday. We are driving six hours. Got a hotel in Dumas, texas. I will be smart about everything 10 hours max of driving a day Watching the weather.

Speaker 1: 3:08

My thought process in that text message was, although he raised me for 20 years, I did not want to impose on any holiday thing he had going with his wife and her kids. You know, I am essentially a foreigner at this point it's been 14 years and I know that. That's why I booked a beautiful place for me and the kids to stay at for the whole time that we're there with a fridge. I just I didn't want to impose. I had a rental car for the entire time I was there. He told me to exchange that and to take it back on the day that we arrived to not spend more money. He's going to get a big car to take us all out. Cancel my hotel there. There's no need for that. Stay at his house. It's what's the point of coming if you're not here. You know what I mean, and so I was feeling really good about that. I'm like he does. He's. He's opening himself up to me again, which is so the whole point.

Speaker 1: 4:06

Back to the text. The text is basically saying I don't want to impede on your stuff, while the whole time feeling like I want him to say it doesn't matter when you come, like I. Just, I just wanted him to say that that's not fair of me to assume that he's a freaking mind reader and knew what I wanted him to say, but I was looking for that, remember. The last question I asked him was what time does that end on Christmas? Okay, so I want to come after your event with your family. He said about 10 pm or later. Why don't you fly here the same day Austin and Hannah arrive here, which is Friday the 30th or the day before 1226?

Speaker 1: 4:47

Now, in my mind, I'm thinking I want my vacation to start freaking right now. I want to use every day of PTO for adventure. I want to have a good time. I want a road trip. So my mind was made. Once he said come the day they come or the day before I was done, I was like no, no, no, no, I'm going back to my road trip thing. Okay, that was my mentality, right or wrong. That's how I was feeling, and maybe a little bit hurt, like he didn't say what I wanted him to say. But again, he's not a mind reader and I didn't open up about that, even though it was probably. I don't know, I get weirded out. I don't. I don't want to impede on anybody's family time, even though I am fucking family. You know, it's that debate inside internal debate. Ok, I will put some more thought behind it and I did not a lot, but I did so.

Speaker 1: 5:38

Then the next day, monday the 23rd, at around 135, I send him a text. Says we are driving with a heart emoji, like I'm doing it. He sends me a storm train brings snow, flood threat to the West. All right, so this is a, this is a parade of storms that is heading through the East to the US, and he says I hope you don't regret your decision. He says I hope you don't regret your decision Warning me and I'm like I'm getting annoyed in my mind. I'm getting annoyed Like I'm an adult. I'm an adult, I can make my adult decisions. Uh, thanks, but no thanks. I got this. Did I say it? No, absolutely not, but I thought it. I absolutely thought it. I'm like I got this. Did I say it? No, absolutely not, but I thought it. I absolutely thought it. I'm like I got this. You need to trust me. I'm older now, keep in mind. He's raised me since I was five years old and it's a little of that daddy-daughter pull, like I'm an adult you know, it's been 14 years, I've grown up and him wanting to protect me, like wanting to protect me, like this was all out of love, and I'm like, no, I got this, so I don't respond to that. And then, december 24th, the day that I'm leaving, I start to share my location with him and he sends me the track weather on your route app so I can type in where I'm going, where I'm coming from, and it's going to show me the weather all the way up. And I'm like cool, that means I can avoid any issues. So I download the app, pay the fee for the month, and I respond to him and say we're going through Amarillo, colorado and Utah.

Speaker 1: 7:23

We go to drop off Bailey, which was traumatic enough, I was just stressed out about that. We drop off Bales, all right. So first which was traumatic enough, I was just stressed out about that we drop off Bales, all right. So first leg of our trip it's raining, it's a downpour and I have to drop my beautiful bub. Oh, it's Bailey. I have to drop off Bailey in the morning and I am not looking forward to this at all. All right, here we go. Okay, so we just dropped off Bailey. That was rough. Now we are going to go home, get an Uber to the rental car and pick that up.

Speaker 1: 8:03

We go get the rental car, which I'm loving. All right, we got the rental car Jeep Grand Cherokee so cute, burgundy, like it's like meant for me and I'm like, okay, now we have a tank. I'm feeling even better about my trip. We got it from Budget. So when we're at Budget, I'm like I just want to make sure the tires are good for this trip. Everything is set. I have seat warmers, like I mean. That was like obviously a big deal. My back's got some issues. I am, you know, 51. My back's got some issues. So I need a little heat if I'm driving that far, because it automatically makes me feel better. It makes me feel better. So it did have seat warmers, even better than ones I have. So I was stoked about that.

Speaker 1: 8:49

Just love the vehicle. It was just everything. I loved it. Oh, like that. Okay there. Okay, hold on, put these in the back seat. You got everything. Okay, now that I'm soaking wet. So then we get the vehicle, we pack it up with our suitcases. It is torrential downpour, like it is raining so hard. If that's not a sign the universe is like you better rethink your decision, ma'am. And I'm like oh it's, it's fine, I've got, I'm fine. So Trevor and I get into the vehicle. He's loving it, he's loving everything about it and I'm like this is going to be the best trip ever.

Speaker 1: 9:42

We get in the car, we head over to my dad's house for a Christmas Eve dinner with my brother and sister-in-law, and it's great, you know, we hang out, we talk and I tell them I'm a little worried about the storm and they seem to be like you're fine, stay on the highway. So I was like see, validation, obviously validation. Yeah, that's not what that was. That was that was you got this, you're independent, you're good. All right, we get ready to leave, we go John, my brother John comes out and he's like okay, this is good, you've got snow, you've got mud, you've got incline, you've got everything you need on this vehicle. It's automatic too. So as long as it's set to automatic, you should be fine if there's snow, which and that gave me a lot of reassurance I'm like that's right, I got a freaking tank, I'm good.

Speaker 1: 10:40

Our first stop is in Amarillo. It's getting a little colder in Amarillo, but God, the drive was just. It was so, so good. I don't know that I've ever felt so alive. It was so good and I was with Trev and he was enjoying it. It's just, that was a really good first 24 hours.

Speaker 1: 10:59

I had booked all the hotels along the way to know that these are my, these are my stopping points, because I need to make it in this amount of time. So we get to Homewood Suites and this it's. It's Christmas Eve that we get there. I, we all, went to bed which I could hardly sleep. I could hardly sleep at all. I was a little wired just thinking about the next day and we're on a trip, and I couldn't sleep. It's like Christmas Eve, you know, like when Santa's coming. I couldn't sleep.

Speaker 1: 11:29

Trevor was a little bit upset that he wasn't able to have his Christmas morning tradition, which is when they all wake up together. They've got stockings I'm a big stocking stuffer girl and and you know just the whole Christmas morning that everybody loves so much. And I took that away this year because they weren't even going to be here anyway. They were going to be in Florida and I just took it away. So I made sure to pack a stocking and candy and stuff to put in the stocking. And then when I woke him up on Christmas morning, I had the stocking on top of the toilet. I know, okay, maybe not the grandest appearance of his stocking, but I knew he was going to get up and go to the bathroom first and I wanted to surprise him. So to that he was and I have it on videotape. So listen to this.

Speaker 1: 12:28

Merry Christmas, this is day five of me being sick and day two of my road trip to Portland. I didn't sleep at all and this is one of the longer legs of the trip. Trev needs to get up. Merry Christmas, trevor. Did you think I forgot you? I didn't forget you. I wanted you to have something to wake up to. Merry Christmas, yeah, he warmed my heart. Yeah, he warmed my heart. He just he warmed my heart. So I'm glad I was able to hide that in the suitcase for him.

Speaker 1: 13:23

So then we packed up, we went downstairs, we had the most amazing breakfast. I have some footage on that and you can see that they had these Texas. You made your own waffles and they were in the shape of Texas and it was so cute. So I waffles and they were in the shape of Texas and it was so cute. So I got a little bit of that and Trav made his own waffle and I had my coffee and it was just a beautiful Christmas morning. It really, really was, and we were happy. And then we took off for our first big leg of the trip, which was 10 hours. We had just driven six, but now we're driving 10, and on the next. So now we're driving 10. And on the next, so now we're talking Christmas day.

Speaker 1: 13:59

On the next leg of the trip it was getting a little more complicated, I would say it. I was more aware of the storm that could be coming. Temperatures were dropping. I was looking at the weather app that my stepdad had sent me and I could see that we had some ice and hazards really coming our way. And as we're driving in the 10 hours, towards the more end of the 10 hours, the snow starts to ice. In the snow. I could see the ice on the ground and I I don't I still wasn't worried. You know, I was raised in Jersey, like we know snow and we know ice, and that's how I learned to drive. You know, I know how to drive in it, but I, but I wasn't raised on a mountain and I wasn't raised to drive at night on a mountain with ice, like that's not part of my driving training, I know nothing about it as a matter of fact, but a straight way freeway, all that Got that, not a problem. And as long as we were staying on that path, greatness, greatness, I was good to go.

Speaker 1: 15:33

I don't think I got nervous until we did start to go on a mountain and I realized this is terrifying, okay, because it was the sun was starting to set and the snow was starting to happen and I was like this is not where I need to be right now. I do not need to be on a mountain at night with snow and ice. So I just, I just started to feel anxiety rise big time, and it was, it was scary. So I realized I am stopping in this. We're going to make it to the destination where I have us going. Um, as long as this is the only mountain, we're good. My problem is I didn't know when the mountains were going to appear. I didn't know where I had to be to not be in the mountains. I just, I just didn't, and that's on me, I guess. I don't know if there's an app that says mountains. I don't know. I don't know what, I don't know. This is a rookie mistake. I get it, but I started realizing it was a mistake when I had to go through it. Still, we made it to our destination.

Speaker 1: 16:32

We got there, didn't love this destination at all. I did not like it at all. Rock Springs Rock Springs was kind of terrifying. I didn't love the hotel. It was not like the first hotel we had stayed in. It felt weird. It didn't feel good. Our window looked over the back of the like Walmart, literally the back where the dumpster's at and I was just very uncomfortable. It was freezing, it was cold. Of course I turned the heat on, yes, but I couldn't sleep because I was nervous in this place. And I'm not saying it's a bad area, I don't think it is a bad area. I just didn't like where we were staying and maybe it was just because my anxiety was already high. I mean, it could have been a multitude of things, but anyway, look at it.

Speaker 1: 17:26

I could not sleep and the biggest reason I couldn't sleep was because I knew we were driving right into a storm. I knew it. I I started to panic. I'm looking at that weather app that my stepdad sent me and I'm like, how can I get around these hazard little signs that are all through the area we're about to hit? So instead of going down to Utah, we're going up and over. We're gonna hit snow. So there's like two hazard areas instead of four, so obviously a safer route.

Speaker 1: 18:05

Um, I only slept like an hour so I'm running like really, in two days I've probably had four hours of sleep, um, so we've added like two more hours, no, three more hours to our travels. So today's going to be a long day. I'm still sick, not as sick. I feel like I'm getting. I think I'm better than I was yesterday. My voice is just whacked.

Speaker 1: 18:30

I will go live today on the road, but my camera will be facing forward, like towards the street, not at me, or I'll get a violation. So hopefully I'll see you on live. Okay, love you Bye. I knew we had to leave this hotel before nine o'clock because that's when the storm started in Rock Springs. So I felt like I had a window and that we had to keep going and going as fast as we can to get out of the mountains. And so I'm not in the mountains when this storm is hitting and it's not nighttime, so I've got a lot of anxiety. I've slept, probably in the two nights thus far, four hours. So now you have somebody that is anxiety ridden, no sleep and just terrified that we're driving into a storm. Thank you.