Digital Disconnection and Hope for Change

PART 2 
Losing access to TikTok felt like losing a lifeline to the world, and the emotional void it left was both unexpected and profound. I share my personal experience of stress and disconnection, as I attempted to replace this vital source of real-time news and community with platforms like Clapper and Blue Sky, only to find them lacking. The absence of TikTok forced me to reevaluate my digital habits and rely on familiar creators like Aaron Parnas and Lisa Remillard for solace and insight during this unsettling transition. Through this journey, I discovered just how embedded TikTok had become in my daily life and the challenges of maintaining content creation without its resources.

Amidst this digital upheaval, I also look back on my year-long struggle to grow a loyal subscriber base, contrasting the quick rise of some creators with the persistent effort I’ve poured into each follower gained. As I approach the milestone of a thousand subscribers, the journey remains one of dedication and perseverance. On the eve of the inauguration, my thoughts turn to the potential for mass deportations in cities like Chicago and LA, a looming concern that casts a shadow over the new year. Despite these challenges, I hold onto hope, expressing a heartfelt longing for a future filled with community strength and positive change.

Chapters

• 0:00 Emotional Rollercoaster
• 12:12 Content Creation and Immigration Concerns

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

And my daughter calls me and I pick up and she's like it's gone. And then I just completely lost it. It was just like compounding of all the stress in my life just went, boom, done, I'm your host, christy Chanel, and this is the Love you Miss you Bye podcast. And I was like I just can't handle this anymore. And she's like, okay, okay, I'll talk to you when you get home. It's everything's fine. I'm like okay, so got off. And then, of course, she was right, it was gone. It was gone and I was feeling all these emotions and did I want to come home and freaking, set up my lighting and get my freaking mic set up and my laptop? No, I just wanted to film a video and TikTok and post it.

Speaker 1: 1:04

Probably wouldn't have talked about those details, but I would have posted how I was feeling and I had no outlet. And as I scrolled through Instagram, all the things that I had seen on TikTok were old, there was nothing that was real time, it was all aging. And yesterday I need right now. Where can I find right now? So I go to Clapper, which I've already downloaded all these apps because I wanted to see what they were about. Was there anything that can give us that feeling of right now. I felt like Clapper was probably the closest thing I could get to. Now I knew I felt safe at Blue Sky because I feel like it's a community that gets each other. It doesn't have longer than one minute videos. It's still old and aging. Clapper was really where I was putting my money and when we went dark I went into Clapper and it did not freaking load.

Speaker 1: 2:17

Okay, now this is somebody who's looking for a freaking home. Where's my home? Where's my home? Let me go to these places. Can it fulfill me? Can it give me that what's happening in real time? Vibe, feeling safety, home? No, there wasn't one place I felt good, except when I saw the creators that I always watch on TikTok come out on their lives. It was like, thank God, here you are, tell me what's going on. And these are people. This isn't like somebody that's a get ready with me creators. These are news and political creators. They know what's going on, they have the pulse and they don't give me a skewed view of what's happening in the world. Erin Parnas was one that really made me know we're going to be fine.

Speaker 1: 3:12

The other person that I went to sub stack and watched her live so she could make me feel better was Elisa Remillard, and I love watching her. She's very. She doesn't give an opinion, she shoots right down the middle and she just gives the facts. And that's what I want watching her. She's very. She doesn't give an opinion, she shoots right down the middle and she just gives the facts. And that's what I want to hear when it comes to what's happening, just black and white and facts.

Speaker 1: 3:35

This channel, this podcast, is all about opinions. Okay, I give you as much information as I have when I've received it and then I give you an opinion on how I feel about it and what I think happened or is going to happen. I try to give you as much information as I have when I've received it and then I give you an opinion on how I feel about it and what I think happened or is going to happen. I try to give you as much real facts as I possibly can. Everything I'm telling you right now is fact because I lived it. So I think we all did in some form or fashion.

Speaker 1: 3:59

So those were the two creators where I was just like I felt home, you know. And then I had Athena, the Mary Kay lady that's her handle who I just love. She was on my IG so I kept seeing videos of her pop up and I was just like, hey, how are you doing? Hey? So that was comforting too. That's pretty much how I got through it, those, those areas. So I woke up this morning and I'm like, too, that's pretty much how I got through it, those, those areas. So I woke up this morning and I'm like, ok, there's no TikTok. I moved it. You know on your iPhone how you can, you know, swipe the pages of where you want things. So my front page has the apps that I use every day, my alarm clock, you know my, my podcast apps, stuff like that that I'm usually in every day a few times a day.

Speaker 1: 4:48

Tiktok was on my front page and I realized, out of just my natural instinct was to go press the app for TikTok. I knew it was dark, but my hand and my mind pressed it anyway, which really makes me think, hmm, probably need to look at that behavior. But I do it because this is what my passion is. You know I say that, but it's true. It's like I find out a lot of what's happening in the news from TikTok. I see fires. I see political events, fires. I see political events. I see the lives, I see marches. I see so much on that app and it feeds me so that I know what the trending and hot topics are that need to be discussed. So it's automatic for me to hit that damn freaking app and it was gone and I kept hitting it like stop. So I took it and moved it from the front page to the second page and left it alone, bye, bye.

Speaker 1: 5:59

Then this morning like, okay, what's your world look like without TikTok? Because short form videos. I go into my TikTok app and I film and then I edit in the app and then I post it out everywhere. I don't have that. So my next thing that I do that's not in the app is my CapCut app. Well, capcut was also banned. They just took it offline early when they didn't even have to. That was not part of the whole Supreme Court hearing.

Speaker 2: 6:34

It was one app.

Speaker 1: 6:34

It was TikTok. Sure, they had made their way there, but they hadn't yet and it was removed, which I paid for, by the way. I have paid for for the entire month and so I'm like OK, so now that's gone, are they going to give us our money back? They didn't even give us a notice that said hey, I know you paid for this, don't worry Nothing, absolutely nothing. It's bizarre in so many ways. Too much time in, because I knew that was going to go away. They're connected, but CapCut, man, that's something that you pay for. I don't know, I have thoughts on that, but that was gone.

Speaker 1: 7:20

So I wake up this morning. I'm like okay, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? Got ready, I was like I'm going to film my podcast. I'm going to try to go live on YouTube to see what it's like. I hate going live. You guys know that I hate it. I turn into this weirdo who doesn't even know what to say. It's true, I'm not a good live person. I have to have somebody on with me. Wish I could handle it by myself, but I Goals, goals. We're not going to make that a 2025 goal, though. We're going to make that a 2026 goal. I have no time on my plate. I've got too many other goals to smash. Remember A thousand on my YouTube. Aaron Parnas, come back up and say breaking news we are going back online. Tiktok is coming back today and I'm like what.

Speaker 1: 8:20

I was just ready to film this whole thing about how I was feeling, which I still am, and so let's see if it's back fully yet as I'm sitting here, fully, it's back, we're back. We're fully back as I'm recording this. I'm seeing this for the first time. We are, we're back. You guys, my heart is warm. I see ya mentioned you in it 15 hours ago. I would have never gotten this post. The video that I'm seeing, that I would have never seen had I I not been able to get back into my app right now, is one of Myesha Mae Love, and it's somebody that I don't see post very often, and I'm seeing a video she posted 15 hours ago and it's got my name in it. So I'm listening to it right now for the first time, so I'll play it for you.

Speaker 2: 9:21

So I left work tonight, had to turn my phone off and got in the car, turned on my TikTok like I usually do. It was fine. And then I just got here to my parents' house, had to turn my TikTok off for a little bit. Just got here to my parents' house, had to turn my TikTok off for a little bit and when I turned it back on I had that warning that we're going to lose it here soon. I didn't want to believe it was going to actually happen, but I guess it is. So I just want to say I posted on here a little bit not as much as I had hoped to, and I was striving to get into the TikTok money making thing, whatever.

Speaker 2: 10:05

Didn't quite make it, but I don't know what's going to happen. I'm hoping it'll come back. I'm afraid if it comes back and meta is attached to it, it might be different. But I don't know what's going to happen. But I want to say to every creator on here that I did connect with. I'm so grateful for you, christy Chanel especially. I owe you a phone call. I'm so sorry. I'm really sad and I didn't want to believe this was going to happen, but facing reality and I guess we'll see what happens. On that note signing off, and peace and air grease. Love you guys.

Speaker 1: 10:45

Oh my God, oh my God. Tiktok just came back and I'm seeing that as it's uploading, I have 70 notifications and two more followers, so it was a good day, apparently. But that video from Myesha was really cool because, like I said, she doesn't post very much and I want to help her use her voice more and I so appreciate the shout out. It means so much to me. It really really does. So does this app, and anyone who thinks it sucks. You can suck it. Ok, you can suck it. I am so happy, I'm so happy and I'm I'm really glad I got to find that out with you.

Speaker 1: 11:27

Now let's talk about some of this political bullshit. Ok, this was all part of a plan. We were to feel that way. They didn't have to shut it down as early as they did yesterday. They did that to have as much of an impact on our hearts as possible and now that we're back, uh, we now appreciate it so much more because we've been able to go out and see how all the other ones just don't compare. Now they have their value, they all represent something, but none of them have the value, except for YouTube.

Speaker 1: 11:58

I do love YouTube. It's not the same. It's more for the next level creator. There's so much associated with it that the average everyday influencer is just not going to survive on YouTube. Like I said, I've been building it for a year. Some people get lucky. Some people's content catches fire right away. I had to work for every subscriber that I have and I'm going to continue to do that because I'm going to hit a thousand this year. Mark my words. I am recording this the day before inauguration and I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you. I don't know. I hear it's going to be mass deportations. I think they're starting in Chicago and then moving to LA, and so on and so on. So we're about to get what they told us, because they told us, and if you didn't believe them, that's your fault. So happy new year. Love you miss you, bye.