Lisa Marie Presley's Unique Path to Healing & Funeral Traditions

Lisa Marie Presley's decision to mourn her son by keeping him at home for two months challenges the conventional norms of grieving and opens up a deeply personal conversation about how society dictates our mourning processes. Join me, Christi Chanelle, on the Love u Miss u Bye podcast as I invite you to question these societal norms and explore how much time we truly need to grieve. Inspired by Lisa Marie's unique choice, we traverse the diverse world of funeral traditions from the Tibetan sky burial to Islamic views on the afterlife, encouraging reflections on our individual experiences and choices. Discover the fascinating and often unconventional ways different cultures approach the end of life and the rituals that surround it.

Preparing for the inevitable can feel daunting, but discussing end-of-life wishes is a crucial part of honoring our loved ones. In a light-hearted yet meaningful discussion, I share my childhood dream of a mausoleum decked out with Christmas lights and invite you to contemplate your own non-traditional plans. While we navigate this sensitive topic, I promise moments of humor and personal reflection. Stay tuned for next Monday's episode, where I'll dive into Lisa Marie new book, "From Here to the Great Unknown," which promises to offer further insights into the mysteries of life and death.

Chapters

• 0:01 Funeral Traditions and Grieving Process
• 16:00 End of Life Planning Discussion

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

I had to take a break from the Menendez brothers to kind of just veer off into something else, something a little lighter, you know, like funerals. I'm your host, christy Chanel, and this is the Love you Miss you Bye podcast, the Love you Miss you Bye podcast. But hold on Before you hit stop or pause. On this podcast I said funerals and no, we're not going to get sad and gloomy today, we are going to be a little bit more uplifted, possibly. Maybe Listen, it's October and I want to talk about other things that I wouldn't normally talk about, and the whole reason that I decided to do that is because I saw a clip of the new book by Lisa Marie Presley and Riley Keough, and it is a book that they more or less wrote together. Lisa Marie started recording tapes of herself so that she could write her book and then, before her death, asked Riley if she would help co-write the book with her. According to Riley, she was a little insecure about it and insecure about herself, which we all can relate to At least, I definitely can and unfortunately, lisa Marie would go listen to books on Audible and I'm not really a reader per se, but if you are, it is something you absolutely have to go check out. I haven't listened to it yet, but I have listened to clips, and listening to these clips has spawned a topic that I figure we can cover together Now. I want to know what your instant reaction is to hearing what I have to say.

Speaker 1: 2:08

Lisa Marie lost her son Benjamin. Okay, it was very public, a lot of people saw it. He died by his own hand, died from suicide. As any parent would feel. It was absolutely devastating to her For multiple reasons. I'm only going to get into one of those.

Speaker 1: 2:31

She needed time to grieve her son so, instead of following tradition and burying him within a week, she kept him in her house on ice for two months. She kept him in her house on ice for two months. She was giving herself the time to decide where she wanted him buried and going through the mourning process, and it prompted my thought of well, who decided we had to bury somebody in a week? I know, when my mom passed, I was given time with her alone in a room. It felt like 10 minutes and maybe it was 30. Nobody was rushing me out saying come on, let's go. You know it's time. I just felt like I needed to hurry up. It felt that way. It was like this is how it's done. I was younger, I was 25, and I wasn't one to stand up and argue with anyone, especially at that time. I just was not in the right headspace. But it got me thinking like society has made these decisions for us.

Speaker 1: 3:35

So hearing Lisa Marie's story of how she kept her son at her house for two months, is that a bad thing? Is it a bad thing because this is how it should be? Or is it a bad thing because it just bothers you? So that is why I have no judgment towards it. I think I don't know if I could do that. I don't know. And I don't know if it's because I'm programmed to think a certain way or if that's just something I don't care to do. I don't know. You know, thinking through it, I think I would rather more time. I think I would do two weeks, two months, maybe a long time, but everybody's process is different.

Speaker 1: 4:19

And if you can think back right now to a time that you lost a loved one, and if you had a choice, what would you do? We'll talk about what other traditions do, because I thought some of it was fascinating. I started looking it up and I figured I'd share it with you. But before I do that, I wanted to tell you that I received a comment when I posted this question for the people that follow me, and somebody asked me to do a book review, and I'm going to do it. I am going to come back next Monday and talk about the book with you. So if that's something that you're interested in, you don't have to read the book. You and I can talk about it or read the book, so that you can kind of match my energy a little bit and leave a comment and tell me what you think. We all got our opinions. I pulled up an article from Religion Media Center and it's called Fact Sheet Death and Funerals in the World.

Speaker 1: 5:15

Okay, so the first religion that they're covering is Buddhism. The Buddhists often follow the common tradition in the country they are living in. One of the most famous or infamous of the Buddhist death rituals is the Tibetan sky burial, or bird scattering. Hmm, the deceased is staked out on a mountain to be eaten by vultures and other scavengers. Okay, and you know what I actually connect to Buddhism more than any other religion. I just feel more connected, although I don't claim any religion. That might have just changed my mind a little bit. If the vultures are quick to come, this may be taken as a sign that this person is spiritually advanced and will have an easy passage. Using one's own body to feed the wildlife is also seen as an act of great dana charity, showing the Buddhist virtues of metta, loving, kindness and compassion. This will also aid the person in achieving nibbana, and I could be pronouncing that wrong.

Speaker 1: 6:30

Buddhists may also practice cremation water burial, depending on local customs. Well, I can get with that part of it. I've decided I'm not going to get into the Christianity. I think that that's a very common type of burial. I want to talk about things that are different, and I don't want to say exciting, but just traditions that you know that we don't really hear too much about. So I'm going to skip that one. Please don't get offended. My whole family's Christian Islam.

Speaker 1: 7:04

Islam teaches that the body resides in the coffin until the day of judgment. This is a period of trial where angels will question the person about their beliefs and practices. The coffin will seem like a paradise for the righteous, whereas for the unrighteous it will be torture. On the day of judgment, a horn will be blown and the dead will be resurrected to face the final judgment. Where possible, a dying person will repeat the shahada did I say it right? Dying person will repeat the shahada, did I say it right? Or declaration of faith as their last utterance? Some Muslims believe in physical resurrection.

Speaker 1: 7:44

Cremation is not encouraged. Burials should take place as quickly as possible after death, and preferably within 24 hours. Where the cause of death is uncertain, this may be and should be decided before burial. The person who has died is washed as quickly as possible and wrapped in a single white shroud. For men, up to three pieces of cloth may be used for this purpose, for women, five. In many countries a coffin is not used, but in the UK, where this is often forbidden, a coffin is permitted. The body is positioned facing towards Mecca. The grave may be raised so that people do not walk on it by mistake, but displays of wealth and status, for example through elaborate gravestones, are discouraged. In some Islamic countries, women are discouraged from attending funerals as their mourning may be excessive. Well shit, that doesn't surprise me. Does it surprise you? I'm going to shut up now. Jewish funerals are held as soon as possible and cremation is not permitted. The body is covered in a white sheet and the eyes and mouth are closed and tied. I have been to a few of those. Muslim funerals are held as soon as possible and embalming and viewings are not permitted.

Speaker 1: 9:17

Madagascar the Malagasy will perform the. I am not trying to be disrespectful. I cannot pronounce a lot of these words and I am not afraid to admit that, and I cannot even believe. I'm challenging myself to try to read this in a podcast, but I am. But I am. So just know, just know. This is just me. All right, the Malagasy people perform the fama di hana ritual I'm going to put the word on the screen for my YouTube watchers, but the people that are listening on my podcast, you're screwed because you're never going to figure out what I'm talking about which involves rewrapping the bodies of loved ones in fresh cloth and dancing with them.

Speaker 1: 10:08

New Orleans, louisiana, the New Orleans Jazz Funeral is a boisterous procession that fuses West African, french and African-American traditions. That fuses West African, french and African American traditions. I think that I saw this in American Horror Story. It's one of the times that I saw it, which I thought it was so cool when they did like the Witch's Cauldron. They had the Louisiana procession in that series. Yeah, I thought it was pretty cool.

Speaker 1: 10:37

Honestly, I love it. Anything that involves music and unity and jazz. I like a good jazz band for sure. The marching band plays so full dirges at first, but shifts to an upbeat note once the body is buried. It's amazing. So we have the water burial. Yeah, I don't know that I'd want that. No, no, thank you.

Speaker 1: 11:00

Many cultures, especially in nomadic countries, have embraced water in their rituals of choice for the dead, from laying coffins atop cliffs faced towards the water to actually using the water as a burial ground. Some set bodies adrift in dead ships, either along a river or sent out to the ocean, giving the bodies back to the gods or places most valued by the people of that area. It's actually, it sounds, very beautiful, but I don't want to be. I don't want to be buried underwater at all. No, thank you. Tower of Silence, I wonder what this is.

Speaker 1: 11:37

One Zoroastrian requires vultures to keep its ancient burial ritual alive. In that tradition, a dead body is believed to defile everything it touches, including the ground and fire, and raising a corpse to the sky for vultures to devour was historically the only option. Bull's urine is used to clean the body before tools which are later destroyed. The corpse is then placed atop a tower of silence, out of the way of the living. Who could be tainted by it? Then why would it be bad to? I don't. Okay, all right, here's another one Ashes to death beads.

Speaker 1: 12:26

While countries' burial traditions around the world include cremation, south Koreans have taken it a step further by turning their ashes of the deceased into beads. These beads have a bit of a shine to them and come in an array of colors, from pink or black to turquoise. Placed inside glass vases or even open in dishes, the beads can then take center stage inside a home, a more decorative choice than a conventional urn. In a country where space is at a premium and cremation is becoming the only realistic choice for burying the dead, getting something beautiful out of the process gives loved ones a new tradition to embrace and an heirloom to treasure.

Speaker 1: 13:12

I actually like that. I do. I think that's a great idea. So we're going to end our burial stuff. Well, actually, I have one more story for you. I am fascinated by it. I wish I was part of that culture. So I've decided that I am going to marry a Native American man. No, I don't know any, but when I meet one, I'm going to marry him because I just want to be a part of this tradition and culture. I love it. I love it so, so much.

Speaker 1: 13:43

Native American funeral traditions vary by tribe, but they generally include honoring the deceased, a sacred event that brings the community together. The deceased is treated with respect and prepared for their spiritual journey. Family members participate in the care of the body and funeral preparations. They also cut their hair as a symbol of sadness. A medicine man or spiritual leader may lead the ceremony in the tribe's native language, using ceremonial objects such as a pipe, herbs and shells. The natural world is considered sacred and green burial techniques may be used. Death is considered a natural part of life and life is celebrated. There may be a period of mourning during which family members may follow traditional customs such as sacrification or blackening their faces. Some other examples of Native American funeral traditions include painting the face of the deceased red, washing the body with yucca, tying feathers around the head, dressing the deceased full regala and jewelry, building a teepee and burning a campfire outside, holding a ceremonial dance, making a doll from the child's hair, sacrificing wives, slaves or a horse what I just read that like.

Speaker 1: 15:05

It was like decorating a Christmas tree? What? Okay, I don't want to do that anymore. Nope, nope, nope, nope, thank you. I am no longer open to dating a Native American if he's going to sacrifice me at a funeral that took a left turn. You know what I'm going to make up my own traditions, screw everything else.

Speaker 1: 15:28

We're going to do it my way, and we are all going to have a big celebration and a big party, and I want my closest and dearest friends and family there, who want you to hang out with me in the funeral home for a week. Don't go to work, don't do anything, just eat, hang out, tell stories, watch movies. Yeah, we'll make it a whole week. Okay, that won't be difficult at all, will it? Nope, not at all. Well, maybe two days then. Two days is fair. I mean, right, pto, you can use two days on me. It's all.

Speaker 1: 16:00

Really, you know, a sad topic to think about, but the other part of it is it's a good discussion to have. Like, have it with your loved ones, Do what they would want to do. This is your last gift to them. You might as well know what that is. Don't anybody ask me, because I don't know. Now. I'm all confused. There's so many ideas. If you've already got it planned out and it's not in the traditional way, I want to hear about it. I think that is so cool. You know, I said when I was little I wanted a mausoleum and I wanted to be inside the mausoleum with Christmas lights, on the outside of it with my name and lights. Yeah, I was always very subtle and shy and that just fits me. So join me next Monday where I am going to do a review of the Lisa Marie Riley Keeley book called From here to the Great Unknown. I look forward to it. Talk to you then. Love you, miss you, bye you.